Bank Account Anonymity

bank_account Listening to my regular morning radio show (SHOUTOUT TO THE KANE SHOW!) on the drive to work the other day I was shocked by the topic of discussion. Well not necessarily the topic, but more so some of the opinions of the female dj’s. They were talking about women having their own bank account, separate from their husband’s/significant others, and not telling them about it. The women on the show all admitted to this being a good idea (if they didn’t already have one they were going to open one) because it was a great way to protect yourself. They used the reasoning that so many marriages end in divorce and you need to make sure you take care of yourself.

Even though I do not have a separate banking account outside of our joint account I can completely understand why many woman do. What I don’t understand is the not telling your husband about it. That omission is a lie. And lying suggests lack of trust, and if you have lack of trust your marriage could very quickly be headed down the divorce path. I understand wanting to protect yourself, and making sure you’re provided for god forbid if anything should happen, be it sickness, death or divorce. I don’t think you should lie to your partner about it.

When you commit to be with someone for the rest of your life, whether you call it marriage, civil union, or even common law, you’ve made a commitment. People change over time, that’s only natural and the hope is that the relationship will change and grow with you. Occasionally you grow apart and realize that commitment is no longer something you can keep. But if you’re lying, and lying about money, you’re not trusting your partner. Money is a difficult issue, it tears friendships apart like a knife through hot butter, it weighs on romantic relationships almost from day one (do I pay for the date? do we split the check?). Even if the reasoning behind the lie is protection for yourself that doesn’t make sense.

pinnochioSo I say, go ahead, open that account in your name, that’s just yours, and your partner can’t touch. But don’t lie to them about it.

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About Brittany Boyce

How to describe oneself succinctly without coming off like an arrogant prick? Not as easy as one may think. Especially for the hubris heavy group of people who consider themselves writers. So I'm using bullet points. -Event planner within the Government Contracting world -Married (coming up on the 3rd year!) -Proud parent of two cats -Lives outside DC -A little bit OCD, a lot anxiety ridden -Fangirl of all things Whedonverse and Batman -Fantasy writer, with years long writer's block, attempting to get back in the swing of things -Spiritual (heavy Christian leanings), feminist, liberal -Outspoken, stubborn **See above bullet points to decipher what my blog is about**
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One Response to Bank Account Anonymity

  1. geanieroake says:

    Great post. Of course you’re right, If you’re hiding things from each other from the start, you’re just asking for the relationship to fail.

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