I’ve been trying to process the Navy Yard shooting in DC today. I’m not focused on the why, the who, anything fact related because it’s too early too know anything anyway. I’ve just tried to focus on my emotions.

In high school I used to write in a journal most every day. So I have entries about Columbine, September 11th and too many other national tragedies that have occurred in my lifetime. I will most likely re-read some of those entries-use some of that emotion and confusion to gain perspective on today’s tragedy.

You know that feeling you get when it’s too many emotions to process? Like you’ve thrown anger, sadness, confusion, and any other emotion you’ve ever had in a blender. Mixed it all together will ice and milk for a nice slurry of feelings jostling around in your brain. I expected that slurry of feeling today. I prepared for it. And suddenly realize I don’t have that. Not this time.

This time, well, this time I’m just numb. And then I feel guilty for feeling numb. Yet, how can I not be? From Columbine to 911 to Newton to Boston and now DC. The media begins its 24/7 coverage immediately. Social media begins its judgements and speculations. We throw in our political rants and calls for action. All of these together make it seem like a circus, a movie, a book scrolling across 140 characters at a time.  Even with newscasters and doctors holding back tears it still doesn’t seem real. I am still numb.

Because tragedy on this scale is common place. Tragedy like this is just another headline. It’s not right. Something must change.

My prayers and thoughts are with all the people who this tragedy has touched so intimately. #DCstrong