I just read this blog post: It’s time to accept this fact: A really great marriage is rare.

From what I got after reading it (and it’s my opinion and one I hope was not the point of the blog post) is that true love is rare and unattainable. That a happy marriage is rare and unattainable. That Disney ruined everyone when it comes to love.

Now I may wholeheartedly agree that Disney ruined everyone when it comes to love – I mean seriously a Prince Charming is going to come and with a kiss of true love awake me from the slumber of my life? And then we’ll ride off into the sunset happily ever after? Yeah – that’s not gonna happen.

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But true love? A happy marriage? Those don’t seem like something that should be unattainable or rare. It seems like nowadays people think that if there are ups and downs and lots of hard work that it’s suddenly not true love or a happy marriage.

The basis of a happy marriage (in my opinion) is true love. You have to truly love a person to want to spend the rest of your lives together, to want to cohabitate with them, to possibly bring a child into the world with them, to want to grow old with them. But this true love does not negate the hard work that comes with being married – that comes with being in any sort of long-term relationship. (This for all of those out there who are still fighting for their legal right to marry).

My husband and I have our boring days. We have our fights, even the stupid fights about who that is that is playing so-and-so in that TV show. We have times when our libido’s don’t mesh. We have times when we bring home stress from work and allow it to eat away at us. But we also have those days when the other person seriously seems like the only perfect human on the planet. We have times when we just connect and everything seems to be going right. We have times when we laugh together until our sides hurt. We have times when silence is so perfect it’s like the other person is reading our minds.

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Maybe we’re a rarity? But I can’t believe that. I see marriages like ours all around us. People who love each other but who also recognize that without communication and dedication true love is not enough to sustain a marriage.

Why shouldn’t every person expect this kind of marriage? Why shouldn’t they expect true love and happiness? And that if they don’t have this than don’t marry that person, or don’t stay married to that person. I don’t think anyone should EVER settle in a relationship. The moment you think “well, this is the best I’m going to get”, you’ve let yourself down. You’ve negated your self-worth. You’ve decided you don’t deserve to be as happy with someone as those you see around you. That’s not right.

Maybe some people out there are really better off single. They’re strong and independent and don’t need a mate. There’s not a damn thing wrong with that. But if you are the kind of person that needs a mate, a life partner, why would you strive for anything less than your version of “perfect”? If you’re not getting what you need from the relationship, or even you feel bored in that relationship why should you stay in that relationship? Divorce is not an easy process and it’s hard on everyone but it’s an option you have if you learn that this marriage is not for you. But the hardness and scariness, and even the social stigma of divorce (because it’s still there no matter what people may claim) should never force you to settle where you are unhappy.

So here’s to all the happy couples (married or not) that I know. To all the single men and women I know. May you always be the best you and strive for that true love and happiness that you need from this world – whether it be with a partner or out on your own!

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