Today’s Daily Prompt seems like a catch-22 to me. Most likely because I’ve watched one too many Doctor Who episodes – but since it’s not possible to have watched too many Doctor Who episodes I’ll explain what I mean.

The best time machine in the world

The best time machine in the world

Going back in time with the implied purpose of changing something – why would I do that? Everything that’s happened in my life, every choice I made, every action, every road I turned down has led me to exactly where I am. There are things I’ve done that I’m pretty sure were stupid no matter how good of an idea they seemed at the time. There were people I hurt along the way, myself one of them. But all of that mess and heartache – and all the good as well – has brought me to where I am right now. It has made me the person that I am. I like the person that I am. Not that I don’t have flaws or that I’m in any way perfect – but I am generally a good person, strong, mostly confidant, happy with who I am inside and out. It’s not like I won’t keep striving and learning to be better, but I like who I am in this present. And going back in time to change anything would change who I am. Would have made my path different – and I’m content with the path I’ve chosen.

The other option – going forward into the future. Why would I do that? Do I truly want to see what happens in my future? Do I think that it will be so bad I will want to do what I can now to change it? Will I make more mistakes? Probably – but isn’t that how you grow? You make a mistake, you own up to it, you learn from it, you grow. I know I don’t want to see when and how I die. Having that knowledge isn’t going to make me live my life any differently. I will still strive to be the best me I can be – and reach for the stars where I’ve set my goals. Whether I ever reach those goals is not the judge of who I am as a person – the journey is the important thing. And I wouldn’t want to ruin the journey by seeing what comes at the end.

It’s  a matter of living in the present. Experiencing the now. You can plan for the future, you can use the past as a guideline – but still appreciate what you have in this moment, because the next moment it’s going to be different, even if only minutely.

Now – if this time machine just happens to be the Tardis and I’m off for a wild adventure just to see the wonderful universe in all its glory may I make a request? Nine – can I be your Rose?

Ninth_Doctor_and_Rose

You never get over your first Doctor

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