Body shaming of women is so commonplace we do it to ourselves and to our friends and family without even realizing it. We, as women, contribute to this shaming and allow it shape who we are as a person.

This has become even more apparent to me now that I’m pregnant. Society feeds us articles and the like that say that you’re eating for two, but don’t eat more than 200 more calories a day. Everyone has a comment that is supposed to be encouraging but never seems to really seem that way. Wow, you’re really big for not even 20 weeks yet! Wow, you’re so skinny, are you sure you’re pregnant? You should work out now, so that it’s easier to lose that weight after you give birth. Don’t work out too much, you’re going to hurt the baby. 

I recently read an article where Chrissy Teigen lamented along this similar vein, with the argument of stay out of my body. She ended up saying she’s no longer going to post on Twitter about her pregnancy – which in her case I can understand.

However – the only way to keep the shame and judgement out of our every day conversation is to point it out when we do it, or when others do it to us.

Thanks for pointing out how fat you think I look, but is that really any of your concern?

You think that’s rude? Well I think it’s rude and body shaming to say my baby bump is too big for how far along I am.

Yes, I’m pregnant. My weight does not disprove the doctors and ultrasounds, but thanks for making me feel inadequate. 

That’s still rude, you say? Well it’s rude to tell me you don’t think I’m pregnant because I’m too skinny, you’re body shaming me AND calling me a liar.

Just think about how the words your saying can sound to the person you’re speaking too. (Sidenote: This doesn’t apply ONLY to your conversations with other women, pregnant or otherwise, it applies to ALL conversations you have). Think about how if that person said those words to you what you would think? How would you internalize those words?

So let’s all take a second and put yourself in the other persons shoes when you’re speaking to them. Think of what your words may sound like. You have no idea what they’re going through or experiencing.

Quite possibly that could be the day they realize that their belly button is suddenly shrinking and flattening out. This could seem foreign, alien and really damn freaky! Not that I would know anything about that…